Charlatan Music Critics and the Denigration of Punk Rock + “10 Criminally Underrated Punk Albums”11/6/2014 “Hell, I’ve never heard ‘em, and now I gotta write about ‘em” —Circle Jerks “Defamation Innuendo” Punk’s not dead-in fact, the mainstream media depends on it. That’s not news, of course. For nearly two decades, punk rock has permeated car commercials, movie soundtracks, video games, and anything else the corporate CMOs want to seem edgy and youthful. When was the last time you watched a teen drama where the main character didn’t have a Ramones poster on his/her bedroom wall? In terms of cool cred, punk rock reigns supreme. Both Hollywood and Madison Avenue have jumped all over this, but not the dinosaurs in mainstream music journalism. Music critics have to pay lip-service to the cultural influence of punk lest they're exposed as the amaurotic charlatans they truly are. But they do so begrudgingly. The mainstream critics have always resented punk rock because they were so late to the party, especially the epochal days of early hardcore. Consider Michael Azerrad’s venerated profile of the 1980’s underground music scene, Our Band Could Be Your Life. It’s an entertaining read, but it never misses an opportunity to disparage the good stuff, repeatedly asserting that “Hardcore’s limited chordal and rhythmic palette fostered a sameness of sound” (1). The so-called Dean of American Rock Critics, Robert Christgau, was trendy enough to be an early champion of the Ramones, but he hated Bad Religion, dismissing Suffer as three chord monotony (2). For those of you who don’t know, “three chords” is critic code for “it’s too fast and it’s not about relationships.” Do these people have any clue how the guitar even works? Three chords? First of all, the foundation of punk rock is power chords, which technically aren’t even chords; they’re dyads. Secondly, the critics spray like tomcats over three chord music-as long as those three chords come from an acoustic guitar and are accompanied by some foppish nerd singing ironically about a girl in a coffee shop. Nevertheless, punk rock has become so ubiquitous that it might seem crazy to suggest that it’s underrated. But it totally is. Bands like the Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, and the Bad Brains produced inventive, unique, technically impressive music-every bit as much as the hipster/screamo-tripe du jour. So, in that spirit, I present “10 Criminally Underrated Punk Albums.” Please note that this list isn’t about super obscure punk bands no one’s ever heard of-those kinds of bands are unknown, not underrated. Oh, and by the way, can you guess which Bad Religion album Robert Christgau genuinely liked? Yep, Into the Unknown. 10. Angry Samoans: Inside My Brain The Samoans’ seminal release Back From Samoa is rightly considered one of the best American punk releases of all time, but its predecessor is almost as good. It’s a little more melodic and mid-tempo, but its puerile snarling conjures the essence of punk. They take Rodney Bingenheimer to task in “Get Off the Air,” pure heresy in the early LA punk scene. The choice tunes “Right Side of My Mind” and “Gimme Sopor” are as fun as anything from that era. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edQF1ktiWgk 9. Abrasive Wheels: When the Punks Go Marching In This band never ranked as anything more than a footnote in the Oi/British hardcore scene, perhaps because they blended the two elements more than any other band, arguably watering down both. Nah, fuck that-the guitars on this album are rip-roarin'. This band captured the aggressive intensity of The Exploited while maintaining the anthemic quality of Blitz. This album is nearly perfect-no filler whatsoever. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGJShBe9cKo 8. Embrace: Embrace This is the Ian MacKaye project that’s been semi-forgotten. It’s perfect for those of us who are frustrated by Minor Threat’s lack of output but are too impatient to wait for Fugazi to get to the fucking point. There’s some mildly emo tendencies here and a lot of overwrought navel-gazing, but never fear, this is punk rock with a kick. It’s probably what Minor Threat’s third LP would’ve sounded like if they continued in the vein of “Salad Days” (e.g. it’s fun to scream along to). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI0XAyXz8QM 7. Minutemen: Paranoid Time The late D. Boon and co. were once considered top shelf titans of the hardcore world, but haven’t enjoyed the punk renaissance like many of their peers. It took me awhile to “get” this band, but this shit is art-a brilliant synthesis of hardcore rhythms, proletarian metaphors, and impressive jazz-punk chops. Paranoid Time is The Minutemen at their fiercest and freshest. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY6B4_kShvg 6. Greg Ginn: Let It Burn Greg Ginn’s post-1986 work is typically associated with experimental improv and electronica. But in the early ‘90s, he rediscovered sludge punk. Many of these songs could easily be outtakes from My War. Ginn was the most innovative guitarist of any genre in the 1980s, and it’s fun to track his progression here, but what really storms out of the speakers are the nihilistic lyrics that paint a world of despair as only Ginn can (okay, could). NOTE: The vid below isn’t very representative of the album, but since Ginn doesn’t allow his stuff on YouTube, very little is available. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5ySNvYsfdM 5. White Lung: Deep Fantasy I don’t get why this band isn’t better known-they barely ever rate a mention on punknews or dyingscene. In my opinion, they’re the best band of the past ten years, with a fresh sound that is distinctly 21st century without sacrificing an iota of punk’s aggression or speed. Female vocalist Mish Way blends a genuinely disturbing anguish with impressive melodic command. I hope all men hear this record because their penises will shrivel like over-compensating raisins, and that's just what the world needs. Guitarist Ken William is reinventing punk rock guitar. One of the only bands that matter right now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q58kHu6yVuc 4. Samhain: Unholy Passion It’s not as good as The Misfits, but seriously, what is? Samhain made some of the most compelling music of all time. Glenn Danzig largely dispenses with the pop melodies here in lieu of pure sonic iniquity. Most bands convey their malevolence with cartoonish screaming, endless palm muting, and double bass pedals, but anybody can (and does) do that. Danzig creates sinister moods with dark melodies; it’s the note combinations that make it sound so eerie, and that takes true craftsmanship. This is perfect for Misfits fans who love “Die Die My Darling” and “Bloodfeast” but can’t take the shirtless metal baggage of Danzig (the band). Fans should seek out the ‘90s remixes of the Samhain discography; the original vinyl mix is almost unlistenable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAKpqym8HSQ 3. Black Flag: In My Head This, the most ignored of the major Black Flag albums, is also the best of the post-Damaged era. Songs like “Crazy Girl” and “Black Love” feature enough waltzy time signatures and imaginative scalar licks to give any prog-metal fan pause. This stuff is fucking dark. Much of it is genuinely upsetting, and far less cartoonish than most of today’s moron metal. Slip It In and especially Loose Nut are great but uneven. In My Head is the full realization of the band’s nightmarish visions. This ought to be considered one of the most quintessential post-punk releases. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AufqsGn5Pi8 2. Circle Jerks: VI There’s not much love out there for mid-tempo Circle Jerks. Steven Blush calls this album “woeful” in American Hardcore (3). But contrary to public perception, the Jerks never went metal, rather, they emulated proto-punk heroes like The Stooges and MC5. VI is chock full of hard-hitting riffs and some of Keith Morris’ best screeching to date. There’s a broad spectrum of rock influences here, and even some pissy punk that would’ve fit nicely on Golden Shower of Hits (such as “American Way”). Closing track “I Don’t” might be the coolest song ever recorded by anyone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W14FJuQXhs 1. Meatmen: We’re the Meatmen and You STILL Suck This overlooked live album is powerful (and funny) beyond words. The playing is so technically superb as to stand up to (and often surpass) the live stuff from Maiden, Ozzy, AC/DC, or any other rock god/arena act you care to name. It blends the best elements of old school metal with savage hardcore punk, anticipating a somewhat Gwar-ish vibe, but punker. Some may find that its political incorrectness crosses (way over) the line of good taste, and those people aren’t wrong. But it’s all parody, as evidenced by Tesco Vee’s 2014 press/apology tour. And what rocks harder than these live versions of “Tooling For Anus” and “Come on Over to Mah Crib”? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVR7TVZ5eHU REFERENCES (1) Azerrad, Michael. Our Band Could Be Your Life: Scenes from the American Rock Underground 1981-1991. Boston: Little, Brown, 2001. Pg. 180. Print. (2) "Robert Christgau: CG: Bad Religion." Robert Christgau: CG: Bad Religion. Web. 1995. http://robertchristgau.com/get_artist.php?name=bad+religion (3) Blush, Steven. American Hardcore: A Tribal History. Los Angeles, CA: Feral House, 2001. Pg. 79. Print.
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